Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The First Fifty

When you are a person who has as few friends as I do, you have to cherish the ones you have.  When you are a person of as few friends as I am and you are - to boot - an asshole, the whole "cherishing" business does not always work as it should.  As a general rule, those of us of the asshole persuasion tend to be awful "cherishers".  

To the extent that the little charcoal briquette in the middle of my chest that masquerades as my heart feels such things, today I feel at least a little bit of sorrow.  For today is the birthday of one of my favorite people, my college roommate and friend Alex Schreiber, and today, for the "too many consecutive years to count" year in a row, I will send him birthday wishes, which wishes he shall not acknowledge. 

At some point in our shared history, I did something to offend Schneeds.  I know not what it was.  I know simply that I have played the movie over and over in the theater of my mind's eye and I cannot identify the scene at which shit and fan came together.  At some point it did. Or it must have as far as I can tell.  

Today Schneeds is fifty.  However, he is spending it, I hope he takes at least a moment or two to celebrate.  


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