Friday, May 20, 2016

I Am the Walrus. My Name is Jimmy Malone.

You wanna know how to get Capone? 
They pull a knife, you pull a gun.
He sends one of yours to the hospital,
You send one of his to the morgue. 
That's the Chicago way. 
- Jimmy Malone

Sean Connery has retired from the movie business.  His influence, however, remains palpable around the globe.  Including, apparently, in China. 

It was slightly less than two weeks ago that two tourists - apparently unable to discern the meaning behind all of the signage placed throughout Yellowstone National Park directing visitors that park rules prohibit them from coming within twenty-five yards of all wildlife and within one hundred yards of wolves and bears - took it upon themselves to "rescue" a baby bison.  Park officials could not successfully reunite the baby bison with his mother or with his herd.  He was shunned.  He apparently became so frantically starved for sustenance and affection that he continually approached people and vehicles.  Eventually, and with regret, Park officials euthanized the baby bison.  His human "helpers" paid a far less severe penalty - a $110 fine for touching wildlife.  

Earlier this week, a story originating in China broke worldwide.  Two men were drowned at the Xixiajou Wildlife Park in the Shandong Province by a walrus.  Apparently, the first man, a tourist, slipped and fell into the walrus's tank.  Presumably believing this unannounced intruder into his space to be a possible playmate, the walrus - who weighs in excess of three thousand pounds - swam over to the man and "hugged" him.  The walrus's keeper - who had worked with the walrus for more than a decade - dived into the tank in an effort to rescue the first man and the walrus "hugged" him too. While hugging his two new friends, the walrus dived down into the depths of the tank, killing the pair.   It has been reported in multiple media outlets just how much this particular walrus enjoys interaction with humans - including but not limited to his keeper.  An attempt, no doubt, to squelch any fears that these two deaths were "payback" for the two humans in Yellowstone having taken the life of a baby bison.  

It has also been reported in multiple media outlets that there is no safety rail or banister to keep tourists (or anyone for that matter) from falling into the walrus's tank. If, in response to this incident, no safety rail or banister is installed at the Xixiajou Wildlife Park's walrus tank, then one might surmise that Social Darwinism is alive and well in China.  

As is, apparently, the Chicago way

Goo, goo g'joob indeed...


-AK 

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