Wednesday, February 10, 2016

What Once Seemed Black and White

From the "Are You Kidding Me"? news desk: 

According to a piece Max Berlinger wrote for the February 3, 2016 Fashion & Style Section of The New York Times and its website, the world is now awash in little boys pretending to be grown-up men by - believe it or not - having their hair colored gray.  

I fear that we have now crossed the Rubicon in terms of "First World" problems.  I am not sure what shall eclipse - or even rival - "an insufficient amount of gray hair" in terms of utter and absolute vacuousness.  I laughed out loud when a stylist to whom Mr. Berlinger spoke informed him that the process can range in cost from $350.00 to $600.00 a session and likened the care required to keep it up - the facade that is - to that associated with caring for a pet.  

Memo to the Millennial Douchebags spending their money on graying themselves:  You embody the old saw about a fool and his money soon being parted.  Grow a set of fully-descended testicles and you just might discover, lo and behold, gray hair has made your acquaintance the old-fashioned way:  Through getting older, through getting married, and through fatherhood.  If you want to really speed the process up, then have a daughter.  In my experience, one is more than adequate to act as a catalyst.  

We cannot possibly be morphing into a nation of detestable, immediate gratification jagoffs who now cannot even await the arrival of gray hair through natural processes.  Can we?  Sadly, it appears as if we can.  Worse yet, a growing number of us already are. 




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