Saturday, November 7, 2015

Hangin' on a Moonbeam's Coattails

Whether it shall be of any assistance whatsoever to the home-standing Buffaloes this morning when the nationally-ranked Stanford Cardinal come calling upon them at Folsom Field I know not, but today is National Bison Day.  

As a tax-paying American, it thrills me to no end, of course, that the same Congress that cannot muster the humanity necessary to permanently extend the Zadroga Act manages to find sufficient time in its day to pass a resolution honoring Ralphie and all those similarly-hoofed.  

This morning in Boulder as part of the celebration of National Bison Day (before you snicker, consider yesterday was "National Love A Lawyer Day" and we are, therefore, on an uptick as we head towards Veterans Day next week), the University of Colorado shall offer students who arrive at Folsom this morning before 10:00 am the chance to run on the field with Ralphie.  For those of you who may not be familiar with America's most lovable female bison, this is Ralphie V.  

Adorable as she may be, Ralphie is not a free-range buffalo.  Her interaction with animals of a two-legged variety is monitored quite closely by the students who are part of CU's Ralphie Handler Program. While Ralphie V is now an old pro at making the trek around Folsom, she was not always as warm and cuddly.   

I still recall Homecoming my freshman year, 1985, when my generation's Ralphie, Ralphie II, made her pre-game run on the apparently quite slippery artificial turf that then was Folsom's playing surface.  As she headed up the home sideline, she managed to shed one of her handlers.  Two more lost their footing as she made the turn towards the visiting team's side of the field.  As she barreled down the visitor's sideline, she lost her last remaining human handler.  She altered her course just enough to chase several of the Missouri players who were loosening up behind their bench up onto the top of the concrete knee-wall that separates the players from the fans.  

From the student section across the way, those Tigers looked as if they had been scared shitless, which is precisely how I would have looked had I been standing where they had been standing during Ralphie's Run. Whether one thing had anything to do with the other I know not.  I know simply that the Buffs defeated Mizzou that day by a score of 38-7.  

I presume that someone from the University Counsel's Office celebrated National Love A Lawyer Day by drawing up a wonderfully articulate and iron-clad waiver that each student who opts to shake off the cobwebs of last night's festivities (wherever they may have occurred) by running with Ralphie this morning, shall be required to execute before he/she is placed anywhere in the vicinity of harm's way.  

Happy National Bison Day to CU's best girl, Ralphie, who is the centerpiece of the best tradition in college football.  

Long may she run...


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