Friday, June 12, 2015

The Ballad of Wounded Knee

Thought for the day:  If Steve Austin - a man barely alive - had to be rebuilt today, just how much would it cost?  Defense contractors are reputed to churn out seven-figure toilet seats and hammers for crying out loud.  A $6 Million Man? This is what a $6 Million Man looks like in 2015 dollars:  Stephen Drew.   Here is to hoping that NASA would adjust for inflation prior to undertaking the rebuilding project.  If Drew is any indication, $6 Million stretches nowhere nearly as afar presently as it did back in Lee Majors' day.  

My father-in-law shall be doing his very own Steve Austin impersonation today.  He is spending the day in the company of his orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Tria, and Dr. Tria's team at St. Peter's University Hospital in New Brunswick so that Dr. Tria can replace one of the two knees that his Mama gave him with one that modern manufacturing shall provide to him.  Why is an eighty-two-year-old man having his knee replaced? Why not.  After all, it is as true now as it was when Oscar Goldman first said it more than four decades ago, "We have the technology. Better than he was before.  Better, stronger, faster."  

All kidding aside, Giuseppe has a far more reasonable goal than hoping to score his own ABC television series:  He simply wants to be able to walk and to be able to so without fear of losing his balance and without experiencing ridiculous amounts of discomfort and pain. He wants to have a knee that he can depend upon enough that he can resume playing his weekly golf game, which he has not participated in at all this year. Given all that he has put into this life, I think what he seeks is nothing more than that to which he is entitled.  

He is more anxious about today's festivities than he has tried to show.  Ditto for his daughter.  There is an old joke about minor surgery being defined as surgery being performed on someone else.  When that someone else is your wife's octogenarian father, it is damn hard to scare up a belly laugh with that line.  

More than a half-century ago, Giuseppe made his bones with his singing voice on Ted Mack's Amateur Hour.  Today, if all goes according to Hoyle, then keep an eye out for him in January 2016 on Dancing With The Stars.  By then, he will have the wheels to go along with those pipes...

...and he already has the threads.



-AK 


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