Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Back on the Grid

My week's hiatus from the Grid ended on Monday night.  Having determined that my Samsung S (which does not stand for "Submersible" by the way) III was not going to miraculously come back to life, I stopped at the Verizon Wireless Store in the Mall at Short Hills on my way home from the office to purchase a new phone.  Note to self:  One can measure the level of pretension in any commercial establishment by the inclusion of a prepositional phrase in its name.  It is not called "The Short Hills Mall" but rather "The Mall at Short Hills" as if it is some type of destination resort as opposed to a collection of overpriced retail establishments.  

Normally, I would take advantage of being inside as silly a place as The MASH (my own, just-made-it-up acronym) to people watch and to make big fun of the aforementioned people.  This mall has a Montblanc store for crying out loud.   What a relief to know that if I need to buy a pen, as opposed to picking up a ten pack of Paper Mate Fine Points at the Walgreen's for $2.99, I can browse at the Montblanc store through its collection of overpriced writing instruments.   Hilarious. 

I was in a bit of a hurry so I focused my time and attention on the Verizon Wireless Store.  Unfortunately for me, so did approximately twenty other customers.  The very nice young woman who took my name when I crossed over the threshold from the Mall into Verizon's space assured me that my wait time was going to be "7 to 10 minutes".  Not even close.  

I waited for what felt like a really, really long time, during which I had the pure unadulterated joy of being chatted up by not fewer than five other customers-in-waiting, all of whom harbored the delusion that we were fellow travelers or some such nonsense.  "What are you here for?" appeared to be the question of the evening, asked in the hushed tone that one would readily associate with an inmate in a prison yard's inquiry of a new fellow convict.  One guy, in spite of me telling him that I was not in fact the store's manager, insisted on talking to me as if I was in fact empowered by Verizon to assist him in some manner.  When Mall Security detained him as he left the story with the "complimentary" case for his tablet, which I had given him a few minutes earlier as a token of "our" appreciation for his patronage and patience in waiting as long as he did for assistance, it finally dawned on him that I was not who he had believed me to be.  

Finally, my long wait was over.  I was very ably assisted by a wonderfully nice young woman named Michaela.  She answered my questions and, having noticed the difficulty I was having reading the print on the phone even while wearing my reading glasses, adjusted its size to make it much easier for me to see.   I left the store not only plugged back into the grid but, for the first time ever, a member of the Apple universe.  

With any luck, I shall enjoy as long a run with my new iPhone 6 as I did with my Samsung S III, which served me well for almost two and one-half years.  Perhaps I shall enjoy an even longer run with this device provided that I do not test its buoyancy as I did its predecessor's.  I am happy that I was able to get a new phone, which I need for work, with little hassle or headache.  

I shall miss, however, the joyous solitude that permeated my day-to-day during the week that was.  


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