Tuesday, April 28, 2015

An Idea Whose Time Has Ceased To Make Any Sense At All

John Kinsella: Is this heaven?
Ray Kinsella: It's Iowa.
John Kinsella: Iowa? I could have sworn this was heaven.
[starts to walk away]
Ray Kinsella: Is there a heaven?
John Kinsella: Oh yeah. It's the place where dreams come true.
Ray Kinsella: Maybe this is heaven.
-"Field of Dreams"

If Ray Kinsella actually lived in Iowa, as opposed to having been deposited there by a screenwriter and a movie script, then he would have been better served leaving his corn crop in place as opposed to erecting a place where dreams were permitted to come true. 

 At least in Ray Kinsella's fictionalized Iowa, the biggest asshole was his brother-in-law Mark.  In the non-fiction version of Iowa, the biggest asshole appears to be Congressman Steve King.  King's latest brainstorm (giving that term its broadest possible interpretation) is to no longer permit Federal courts to rule on the legality of same-sex marriage.  According to Rep. King, "Federal courts have perverted the Constitution to make law and create constitutional rights to things such as privacy, birth control and abortion.  These unenumerated, so-called constitutionally protected rights were not envisioned by our Founding Fathers."  Our Federal courts are Article III courts.  Their power is derived from Article III of the Constitution of the United States, which limits federal judicial power to the adjudication of actual cases or controversies.    

Nothing I enjoy more than a twenty-first century phucktard proclaiming what "constitutionally protected rights" were envisioned and/or were not envisioned by our Founding Fathers.  You know what certainly was not envisioned by our Founding Fathers?  Iowa.  Iowa was not only NOT one of the Original Thirteen States (a/k/a "The Places from Which the Founding Fathers Came") it was not among the first twenty-five states to join the Union.  Shit, Iowa did not become a state until 1846 - after Texas and twenty-seven others.  At the risk of giving Congressman King and his supporters a free lesson in "'Murican" history, Iowa was admitted into the Union at a time when states were admitted in such a way as to maintain the balance between "slave" states and "free" states.  Iowa's state flag should contain a picture of Mexican General Santa Ana.  But for that asshole's incursion in Texas and the latter's successful fight to liberate itself, Texas never would have become, first, a Republic and then, almost immediately thereafter, a State in 1845.  If the Republic of Texas had not become the State of Texas in 1845, then the Iowa Territory would not have become the State of Iowa in 1846.   The "slave" states simply would not have permitted it to happen.  

Iowa's state motto is, "Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain."   Apparently, Congressman King believes that the state motto is for suckers - or at the very least for people who are amenable to allowing him to determine what liberties are to be prized and what rights are to be maintained.  

Normally, I would not give a rat's ass about Iowa but for the fact that it is preparing to take its hyper-inflated place on center stage as the roll out towards the 2016 Presidential campaign gets underway.  Other than the fact that the Iowa caucuses have been afforded, historically, a place of significance in American electoral politics, why has what Iowa thinks been elevated to such a dizzying height?  It is the state that has - in at least one Congressional district - re-elected an idiot repeatedly and has done so by overwhelming margins.   

Give me one good reason why what the people of Iowa think is so goddamn important to we the people of these United States?  I have already given you my one good reason why it should not be.  

Oh, and being the home of Radar O'Reilly does not count.  He, too, was a fictional character as are, I fear (at least if Congressman King is any guide) too many of the best Iowans.  Then again, no one - including Yours truly - should ever paint with brush strokes so broad.  Congressman King has not - as far as I know - ever won a statewide election in Iowa (such as for Governor).  His in-state sphere of influence therefore may be limited to the boundary lines of his Congressional district, much as here in New Jersey  we have worked hard to similarly limit that of Scott Garrett.        

-AK 

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