Tuesday, March 10, 2015

No, I Do Not Wish They All Could Be California Girls...

On Tunnel to Towers Weekend in late September, 2013, I visited the September 11 National Memorial for the first time - with Jeff, Gidg and the Missus.  It is a somber, spectacular tribute to the men and women murdered on that terrible Tuesday morning.  

In spite of the power of the Memorial, there were two young ladies - to my eye they appeared to be older than teenagers but not much older than their early-to-mid twenties - who nevertheless engaged in the most asinine, 21st Century behavior possible:  They hopped up onto the Memorial itself so that they could take a "selfie" while having their asses planted on the names of several of the deceased.  As they sat there -preening like jackasses - passers-by (who were closer to them than our little quartet was) rather forcefully suggested to them that what they were doing was beyond offensive and they should stop doing it immediately.  Truth be told, I think that by the time the admonition was given to them they had successfully gotten their picture before they slid back down off of the Memorial and then disappeared into the crowd.  I must confess that it did not occur to me to call Security.  It occurred to me to pitch them over the side and into the Memorial Pool.  By the time we reached them, however, opportunity had ceased to knock. 

This past week, two idiots from California, a 21 year-old woman and her 25 year-old Sister of the Traveling Pants got themselves arrested at the Colosseum in Rome.  Their offense?  The pair slipped away from their tour group in order to carve the letters "J" and "N" into the Colosseum's brickwork, using a coin, before - wait for it - posing for a selfie in front of their handiwork.  

Mere moments after they did the deed, they were arrested.  Upon being arrested, the pair apologized to Italian authorities, including Piazza Dante Police Captain Lorenzo Iacobone.  They did so, of course, in the faux style that has become so popular in the 21st Century. They apparently told Captain Iacobone, "We apologize for what we did.  We regret it but we did not imagine it was something so serious.  We'll remember it for a lifetime."

In other words, "Look, if you all have gotten your La Perlas in a bunch over what we did, then we are sorry that you think it was a big deal.  Lighten up dudes.  The good news is we will never forget this experience for the rest of our lives...and we have a great picture to post on Instagram. Check it out under #WeAreFuckingClueless."  

Apparently, the countless signs posted around the Colosseum - in both Italian and in English - advising against committing an act of vandalism against the Colosseum, whose date of birth is B.C. and not A.D. for those keeping score at home, failed to alert these two attention whores to the fact that what they did is frowned upon in this particular establishment.   

Remember this story the next time you go to a zoo and the various apes hurl shit through the cages at those of us of the human persuasion as we walk by.  They do so because they are keenly aware of just how fucked they got by the celestial coin flip.  Not since Portugal and the Line of Demarcation has anyone been as screwed by an arbiter as our pals the primates.   

Caesar is angry, my friends.  And it is not Julius of whom I speak.   



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