Friday, January 2, 2015

The Year of Rhyming Verses?

Here's wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses too.
Follow all the doubt and sadness,
- "Better Things" 
Ray Davies

How bad can a year be when its first official work day - for a great many of us anyway - falls on a Friday?  Far be it from me to ratchet up the Hope-O-Meter past its factory-mandated tolerances but I am constrained to point out that 2001 started on a Monday, which means that its first official work day fell on "the day after Monday", which my older brother (and future Pope) Kelly shall point out is the single worst day of the week.  Trust me - do not challenge him on this - he has the data to support his position.

As a betting man, I am willing to wager that my secretary Lucia shall not be on the medal stand for "Happiest Person in the Work Place" today upon her return to work from her Christmas vacation.  She was off.  I was not.  Although I suspect that if she could sign up for one day one/two days off (with pay) with me, she would do so gladly.  Sadly, such an option is not available to her at the Firm.  I might just keep that little nugget of information to myself until we reach at least mid-afternoon today in an effort to keep her from attempting to kill either herself or me.  

Tomorrow starts the Playoffs in the NFL, which playoffs are not to be confused with the playoffs that started last night in college football.  Too many playoffs.  Too little interest on the part of Yours truly.  The only NFL team for which I root is the Giants and once again this year the boys from Mara Tech shall be viewing the post-season from the couches in their living rooms.  I shall leave it to them to fill me in on the results.  

If NFL football is not your thing, then you may take comfort in the fact that Super Bowl XLIX is now just XXX days away.    If Roman numerals are not your thing, then you may take comfort in the fact that in 2016 the NFL shall not use them to identify the Super Bowl.  The game played in Santa Clara, California on February 7, 2016 shall be "Super Bowl 50" rather than "Super Bowl L".  

I must confess that I am at a loss to understand what the league's "concern" was/is over using a single "L" to denote the game.  Perhaps they were concerned that the lone "L" would be misinterpreted as standing for "Liberal", "Lesbian" or "Law-Abiding" rather than a Roman numeral.  Understandable concern.  For years, I mistakenly believed that the Baltimore Colts defeated the Dallas Cowboys 16-13 in "Super Bowl V(agina)" and not in "Super Bowl 5".  And Lord knows how many people under the age of forty-five in these United States mistakenly believe that the late, great civil rights leader was named Malcolm Ten.  There must be at least two handfuls of confused citizens roaming the countryside - if not a full dozen.  

Damn you, you Roman numerals!   

Fear not.  The departure from Roman numerals is but a one-year aberration.  In 2017 the game shall be identified as "Super Bowl LI".  Given the perceived inability of Americans to differentiate between Roman numerals and Arabic letters, I am setting aside my longstanding allegiance to the Giants for one season and rooting like hell for their co-tenants at Money Grab Stadium to make it to the Super Bowl.  If they do, then I hope that Woody Johnson (who appears to be so inept that if he had been in charge of product development at J&J, then Q-Tips would have had wire mesh on their tips rather than cotton) names this fellow to be his team's unofficial captain.  

The year is officially underway and, yet, the weekend is upon us.  Ray Davies was a phucking prophet I tell you... 



...a phucking prophet.

-AK

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