Thursday, October 23, 2014

Idiots of the World Unite!

I am excited - almost exhilarated in fact - to learn that we have officially run out of real problems with which we have to deal.  What permits me to make such a declaration?  This new item.   

Are you phucking kidding me?  We have successfully licked the plate so clean of honest-to-goodness things that adversely impact our day-to-day that we rally behind inane ideas such as the one promulgated by this "I have too much time and too little to do" do-gooder in Florida?  Either more than 9,000 sheep did or she figured out a way to sign, herself, her own absurd petition 9,000 times.  

Newsflash for asshats such as the one referenced in the preceding paragraph (and if you scroll through her rather enthusiastic comments that pockmark the entry on the web site you will quickly realize why her self-created flame of fame shall not be fanned here.  Note to her:  The exclamation point speaks for itself as punctuation.  You need not stack them in multiples of four six):  If you do not want to permit your child to have access to a particular toy or type of toy, tell him or her "No". Powerful little word it is, "No".   You might want to give it a try.   

Setting aside for just a moment that in order for your five-to-seven year-old child to really appreciate the significance of the "Breaking Bad" action figures, he or she would have to know something the show - thus suggesting that the stiffy you sport for Toys R Us does not extend (pun intended) to AMC - how about we refocus our energy on the task at hand, which is your responsibility as a parent to actually act like a parent.   Contrary to what Geoffrey the Giraffe might have made him or her (or you apparently) believe, your child does not have a Constitutional right to roam the aisles of Toys R Us unabated.

In the immortal words of Colonel Nathan Jessup, "This is frigging ridiculous."   

Note to Joanie K. and to Michelle J.:  Get out of Florida before the new NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Change.org Petitions) sets it sights on something of real importance to you and your neighbors in the Sunshine State, such as regulating the promulgation of electric fans during televised political events.

-AK 

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