Friday, June 27, 2014

The Immeasurable Width Of The Spectrum

Apropos of nothing, it was simply terrific to see a genuinely good man get honored and rewarded by his peers the other evening.  My favorite New York Ranger, Dominic Moore, was the recipient of the 2014 Masterton Trophy at this year's NHL Awards Banquet on Tuesday.  The Masterton Trophy is awarded to the player who best exemplifies the qualities of "perserverance, sportsmanship and dedication to ice hockey."  Moore had returned to the NHL for the 2013-14 season after he sat out the 2012-13 campaign as he first cared for his terminally ill wife Katie and thereafter as he mourned her death. 

Dominic Moore is an impossibly easy human being for whom to root, which principle may be put to the test for this upcoming season.  Presently, Moore is a free agent and it is less than certain that he shall return to play for the Broadway Blueshirts.  While I hope like hell he does return to the Rangers, irrespective of where he calls home next season I for one shall continue to cheer for him and to support the good work he is doing through the Foundation he established in honor of Katie.  

Luis Suarez of the Uruguay National Soccer Team is about as far removed from Dom Moore in terms of the quality of his character in his chosen profession as Montevideo is from Manhattan.  In Uruguay's final Group Match in this year's World Cup, which Uruguay won 1-0 against Italy to qualify for the Knockout Round and to send the Italians home on the "All-Underachieving European Team" charter flight on which Spain and England joined them, Suarez bit an Italian player on the shoulder. 

Please note the lack of the word "allegedly" from the final sentence of the preceding paragraph.  Its omission is not inadvertent.  He not only bit the Italian player, he sat on the turf in the 18-yard box thereafter futzing around with his teeth as if he was some sort of dementia-stricken denture wearer.   Utterly f*cking ridiculous.  Especially so when one considers that his Pac-Man impersonation on Tuesday marked the third time since 2010 that Suarez had bitten an opposing player during game action.  His first two attacks garnered him a seven and a ten-game suspension respectively.

Kudos to FIFA for rewarding Suarez's petulance with a punishment that certainly fits the crime.  On Thursday, soccer's governing body suspended Suarez for nine games and four months, fined him $100,000 Swiss francs and declared him "unwelcome" at any soccer-related activities during the period of his suspension.  Uruguay immediately announced its intention to appeal FIFA's punishment while the rest of the international soccer community invited Uruguay and its star player to go fornicate without human companionship. 

One might surmise that Luis Suarez would benefit from some quality time spent in the company of Masterton Trophy-winning Dom Moore.  I would be inclined to agree subject to one caveat:  Moore whacks Suarez in the mouth as hard as he can with the Masterton Trophy.  That f*cker is big, heavy and sort of pointy on top.  It would most certainly do the job - provided that "the job" was the simultaneous removal of all of Suarez's teeth...

...then again society might be better served if Dom Moore allows someone such as Yours Truly to borrow his trophy for a couple of minutes in order to show it to Suarez.  Something tells me that Dom Moore is far too much of a gentleman to do with it what needs to be done.  Fortunately, I suffer from no such similar infirmity.

"That's right Luis.  Smile and say Sportsmanship!" 



No comments: