Tuesday, March 18, 2014

They Are All Inferno

I reserved my middle seat on the over-sold flight to Hell between two obese flop-sweaters a lifetime ago.  I have no delusions about where I am spending eternity in the event that there really is a second act that commences upon my tripping the mortal coil.  Margaret shall have me cremated in large part to help my body and soul adjust to the climate.  Were I being buried, my tombstone would read "DRESS LIGHT".  Thus, I say what I say today with no concern whatsoever about its impact on my eternal resting place.  None at all.

Fred Phelps is a virulent, malevolent force on this planet.  He and the mouth-breeding spawn who have assembled themselves in "God's Name" under the banner of the Westboro Baptist Church are the worst of the worst.  He is a cancer among the species.  A human being so despicable that other members of the Kingdom Animalia applaud the fact that all they had to give up in exhange for opposable thumbs and the ability to process complex thought was the right to call him one of "their" own. 

A man whose claim to infamy has been his ability to continually inspire the douchebags who follow his lead to protest at the funerals of the men and women who die in combat while in the service of this country and whose organization's Constitutional right to do so was affirmed by the Supreme Court of the United States several years ago is on death's door.  This past weekend, two of his sons confirmed to different media outlets that Pastor Fred has terminal cancer.  He is receiving hospice care.  As the sign says, "THE END IS NEAR!" 

I hate cancer.  It is an insidious, virulent, relentless disease that has taken the lives of too many good people to count, including among them the one and only Suzy B., and that assails the lives of too many other good people on a day in and day out basis.  One such soul of whom I think of today - and every day - is Mrs. Kizis.  Good people do not deserve to be attacked by cancer.  Good people do not deserve to feel helpless as they watch one they love fight to fend it off. 

Fred Phelps is not a good person.  The people who drink his Kool-Aid are not good people.  My hope for Pastor Fred is that his final days are as painful as they deserve to be.  His status as a Prick of Misery has been his calling card for generations.  I hope that on his way off of the Big Blue Marble, he feels every fucking bit of the pain that he has to endure.  He deserves it. 

And he deserves when he dies to have the good people whose lives he has tried to ruin, good people such as Al Snyder, show up at his funeral carrying signs assailing Phelps and his beliefs and making it their mission to make it impossible for his family to bury him in peace.  Good people such as Al Snyder will not engage in such behavior.  It is what makes the good people the good people after all. 

Me?  I suffer from no such delusion.  The train for "goodness" left the station and Yours truly was inside at the bar trying to skip out on the tab.  Fred Phelps is human deritus.  I hope only that he gets everything he deserves.  He has spent a lifetime trying to rob the Karma bank.  When his eyes close for the final time, he will then and there know that all debts are to be paid.  In full. 

Bon voyage Jagoff.  I hope it hurts.  You certainly fucking earned it. 

Oh, and dress light Slick.  Regardless of what the nice fella at the Gates told you, they are indeed all Inferno. 


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