Monday, January 20, 2014

The Incompleteness Principle

Thursday turned out to be one of "those" days.

I am an early riser.  I am up for the day at 2:45 AM and after I complete my morning run on the treadmill (and several minutes on the Total Gym if I am burning with ambition), I am showered, dressed and out the door for the office by 4:00 AM.  Happiness is a commute in the company of no others on Route 287 North.  Bliss is arrival at an office at 4:30 AM or thereabouts that is devoid of any other human beings. 

Anyway, on Thursday morning I did not get dressed in a suit.  Thursday was an "office day".  It was a day on which I had no appearances outside of the office, which enabled me to spend the entire day at the shop spreading love and goodwill among my fellow employees.  Nevertheless I quasi-suited up:  dress slacks, dress shirt, tie and a sweater.  Actually, in my never-ending quest to look like an aging member of any frat house at Whata Matta U. I was not wearing a sweater but a sweater vest instead. 

The sweater vest actually plays a critically important role in this tale of woe.  For it was not until some time after I had arrived at the office and had to use the bathroom that I realized that I had failed to put on a belt.  There I was - Captain Sansabelt.  Had I not put on the sweater vest before leaving the house that morning I would have realized that I was beltless and I would have remedied the situation before I left for work.  Then again, had I not been wearing the sweater vest, the moment would have arrived at some point where one or more of my co-workers would have come to the very same realization and rumors of my questionable mental status would have spread throughout the office.  Well, faster than they usually do on a Thursday.

But I digress.  

As someone who wears a belt daily I found the whole experience to be more than a little bit distracting.  I wondered whether an officer pulling me over for speeding or some other traffic infraction might be inclined to think that I am a person with a documented history of trying to injure myself and request assistance from what he or she might consider calling for backup prior to dealing with me.  Mostly though I wondered if everyone else knew - even a little - how idiotic I felt to be walking around beltless. What sort of idiot cannot remember to fully dress himself in the morning?  This past Thursday, I am constrained to admit that the answer to that question was self-evident:

I am pleased to report that after Thursday's meltdown I am back firing on all wardrobe-related cylinders.  I even managed to remember to wear my belt on back-to-back days.  It has been delightful to be able to concentrate my attention on something other than making sure my pants are not going to fall down.  

That is the type of thing that can make a sane man crazy....

....well that and letting an old man mess around under the hood of your car. 

But I digress.


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