Saturday, November 16, 2013

Absolution, Certainty & Other Ideals

Today is my niece Jessica's birthday.  Jessica is my sister Evan's oldest.  She holds the distinction of being the "tip of the spear" for the Kenny Family:  The Next Generation.  She is the oldest of Mom/Dad's grandchildren.  She holds the unique, and sad I suppose, distinction among her group of being the only grandchild who Dad lived long enough to meet and to get to know.  Jessica also is the mother of a little girl, Zoe, who may very well be the most adorable, photogenic child on the planet.  While I have not yet made Zoe's acquaintance face-to-face, I have been able to watch her grow up through the photographs and videos that Jessica posts on-line.  That little girl is the elixir for a shitty day.  Beautiful.  Simply beautiful.  I hope that Zoe's mom enjoys a very happy birthday today.  I look forward to the photographs of Zoe wearing at least a portion of the piece of birthday cake she eats - while wearing that great, ear-to-ear smile that she appears to wear all day, every day.  One does not raise such a happy child by accident.  Well done, Jess and Happy Birthday.

I do not know where Jessica is celebrating her birthday today.  I can say with some certainty that I know one place where she will not be celebrating it:  Henry Dhabasani's house in Iganga, Uganda.  Old Henry is apparently a quite passionate fan of the Arsenal Football Club of the English Premier League.  He was so confident that his beloved Gunners would defeat Manchester United this past weekend that he made a bet with his good friend Rashid Yiga.  According to the terms of the wager, if Arsenal won Dhabasani would get Yiga's wife and a Toyota (Dhabasani apparently has three wives already but could not resist the Siren's song of Japanese automotive engineering).  If Manchester United won, Yiga would get Dhabasani's home.  Final score:  Manchester United 1, Arsenal 0.  No word whether Yiga is permitting Dhabasani and any or all of his three wives to sleep in the Toyota while he looks for a new home.  

Henry Dhabasani got himself in trouble because he thought with his heart (among other vital organs) rather than his head.  I will respectfully decline to comment upon whether Craig Cobb has ever committed such an error.  Cobb is a 61 year-old White Supremacist.  He lives in North Dakota so an argument can be made that his quest for supremacy is somewhat inflated.  I would be far more impressed by his stated position on the purported superiority of his ethnic group if he declared it from his home in Compton, California or Camden, New Jersey or any urban area in which one might reasonably anticipate encountering a more-racially diverse population than the nice people who call Leith, North Dakota home.  

Cobb apparently had plotted to take over Leith, which is where he is from, and create a "white enclave" there.  It turns out however that his best-laid plans have run into a snag:  Cobb may himself be 14% "Sub-Saharan African".  He submitted a DNA sample to a talk show ("The Trisha Goddard Show") whose host is African-American and during a recent taping of Ms. Goddard's show, the results revealing Cobb's true colors (sorry, could not resist) were disclosed to him and to the studio audience.  Ms. Goddard offered to fist bump Cobb but he declined.  The news of Cobb's DNA profile, which effectively doubled the African-American population of Leith (Population 16 in the 2010 Census), was greated enthusiastically by Leith's heretofore only Afrian-American resident, Bobby Harper.  Mr. Harper told The Bismarck Tribune - when informed of Cobb's results, "I knew there was one other black person in town.  Is he going to want to kick his own self out of town and discriminate against himself?"  

Poor Henry Dhabasani finds himself with no place to sleep these days.  Craig Cobb has no such issues.  His problem now is having made his bed he has to lie in it.  


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