Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Kinda, Sorta Acts of Randomness


Old Ferris was pretty damn smart.  But I suspect that you, like me, already knew that.  Life moves at a perpetually breakneck pace - even when you spend the day just hanging out and relaxing.  Close your eyes to go to sleep and wake up the next day to find out that more than several hours have passed.  Entire weeks have gone hurtling by in an eye blink.  It is inevitable.  And when you earn your keep as I do being ever mindful of the "billable hours" clock on the wall you run the very real risk of having your life broken down in units of time, measured in one-tenth of an hour increments.  As soon as I can wrap my head around whether my arrival at that epiphany was more depressing than infuriating or vice versa, I shall be sure to let you know.  I suspect that it was, it is and it shall remain a flat-footed tie. 

Time moves so quickly that Suzanne and Ryan are officially old married people already.  They have been married more than one month.  In our little corner of the universe the next milestone event is Jess and Rob's wedding.  06/06/14 is now less than eight months away.  And I know as I write this - and smile thinking of what shall be another great day for one of my two kids - that it too is a day that shall pass by in a blur. 

I am a New York Giants fan.  Notice that I did not throw in the obligatory "Football" between the words York and Giants.  In view of the fact that Horace Stoneham moved his baseball team from the Polo Grounds in Manhattan to Candlestick Park in San Francisco approximately fify-six years ago there are few public declarations in the world of sports that make my hair hurt more than some too cute by half asshat broadcaster referring to the boys of Mara Tech as "the New York Football Giants" in a tone of voice suggesting that he is letting all of us plebes in on information previously available only to those at the cool kids table.  These Giants are the only New York Giants that have been a professional sports franchise in my LIFETIME.  Enough already. 

But I digress....

It has been a tough autumn on the gridiron for the boys of Mara Tech.  To date they have played five games and have won exactly none of them.  I suppose that they could rally, win their final eleven games of the regular season, qualify for the playoffs and dazzle the home folks by winning the Super Bowl that will be played on their home field on Groundhog Day, 2014.  Anything is possible.  Right after a monkey flies out of my ass playing a french horn I will start believing in the possibility of the Giants suddenly embracing success.  Way back when in July and August, a lot of the people in the know about NFL football predicted doom and gloom for New York's professional football team.  The quarterback position was a sore point.  The talent level on both sides of the ball was considered poor to mediocre at best.  The head coach was a dead man walking.  Their best action plan was to be as bad as predicted to put themselves in a position to draft this generation's Lawrence Taylor (referencing his on-field talent and not his predilection for cocaine and underage prostitutes) Jadeveon Clowney of the University of South Carolina.   In case you are not familiar with Mr. Clowney, allow me to make the introduction for you.  I assure you that your New Year's Day headache could not hold a candle to that of Michigan's Vincent Smith:


Funny thing is that the New York football team that the smart folks were talking about was the Jets - not the Giants.  After five games, Rex Ryan's team is 3-2.  While it appears - given how dreadful the Jacksonville Jaguars are - that the Giants may lose out in the Quest for Clowney through five games they are in excellent position to claim the prize.  

Even further back in time - mid-May to be exact - the Los Angeles Dodgers were going to be in the market for a new manager.  The shadows being cast across the field at Chavez Ravine were from the vultures circling above the head of Dodgers skipper Don Mattingly.  The smart money in Las Vegas had Mattingly being fired by Memorial Day.  Hmmm....


Granted, they still have to win two more Best-of-Seven series to be crowned World Champs but considering how very far away a Dodger-Blue Gatorade shower seemed for Donnie Baseball five months ago, his ear-to-ear grin was not only understandable but well-earned.  Turns out that people will kill you a lot of times before you are actually dead. 

Final random thought for this rudderless, rambling day:   There are brewers who make genuinely moving, terrific commercials.  The people at Budweiser and at Coors leap immediately to the forefront of my mind.  However, the quality of their commercials is undercut (in my opinion) by the fact that their product is better suited for cleaning utensils and kitchen counters than it is for drinking.  Leave it to the good people at Guinness to make a commercial that rises to the quality of the beer they brew:


See you tomorrow.  Or not. 

-AK

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