Thursday, October 17, 2013

A Spot of Teakettle

I am a sufficiently self-absorbed little asshat that when this thought sauntered through my head Sunday morning as I was running through the streets 'NTSG I believed it to have been an original one.  No.  I am not kidding. I wish I was.  Not because I do not think in eight words it expresses a worthy sentiment - and does so in one-third less words than that techno-nerd Jobs did - but because I thought it might be my ticket to fame and fortune.  I was prepared to take the steps necessary to protect my intellectual property (never in the history of the English language has a better, more complete oxymoron been written than "Adam Kenny's intellectual property") when I thought that maybe, just maybe I should do a bit of investigation into its history....while hoping like Hell that it had none.  Papa can use some t-shirt and car magnet money after all. 

Alas Poor Yorick I am not the first rube to put these eight words together.  In fact, judging by the results of the Google search for that particular octet it appears as if I am not among the first 1,000,000 rubes to have done so.  So much for my Tchotchke empire.  Oy vey!

Even though it turns out that these eight words are not in fact "Word for Adam to Get Rich By" they do distill some pretty good advice into an easy to remember little mantra.  That is something I suppose....

....and on a not unrelated subject, while my dreams of "Made in China" plasticware fame and fortune were dashed, I was elated to learn - in this the forty-seventh year of my existence - the meaning FINALLY! of one of Joanie K.'s pet turns of phrase.  Until Sunday night, I knew not what it meant when Mom discussed someone falling "Ass over Teakettle" for while I am generally familiar with the general location of the human ass (and one Human who is an Ass in particular simply by conjuring up "Mirror Mirror on the Wall...."), I have always found the Teakettle a bit harder to discover.  Now, however, I know:

Torii Hunter "Ass over Teakettle"
Game 2 ALCS 10/13/13

Thank you Torii Hunter for providing me the visual aid I had lacked all of these years and for enabling me to finally understand what the hell Mom meant.  Hell of an effort by the way.  One hell of an effort.  Although you did not make the catch I would like to present you with a token of appreciation....

....I hope you enjoy your "Stop Dreaming Your Life Start Living Your Dream" coffee mug.  It is a collector's item.  Only 4,000 of them were made.  I for one hope that the ALCS goes seven games - and the World Series as well.  Lots of product to try and move.  Lots of f*cking product.


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