Sunday, August 18, 2013

Disorder in the House

Disorder in the house
It's a fate worse than fame
Even the Lhasa Apso
Seems to be ashamed.
-Warren Zevon

I am not a particularly bright fellow on any day of the week.  Sometimes however by the time Saturday has faded into Sunday, I am far, far behind the intellectual eight ball.  Things that may in fact make sense to a person of reasonable intellect simply are beyond my ability to comprehend.  Questions?  I have plenty.  Answers?  In precious, short supply.
 
I suppose someone, somewhere understands what it is that fuels Alex Rodriguez's desire at self-immolation.  I do not.  Friday afternoon - prior to the first of three games the Yankees played in Boston - he told the gathered media horde that a 60 Minutes report claiming A-Rod leaked the names of other players (specifically Ryan Braun and A-Rod's own teammate Francisco Cervelli) was categorically untrue and that he was tired of all of the "attacks" upon him and his good name.  He claimed that his primary focus was simply helping the Yankees (his "brothers") win the AL East. 
 
One presumes that while A-Rod was holding court on Friday afternoon he was aware that his new lawyer, Joe Tacopina, was chatting with Tyler Kepner of the New York Times.  Tacopina is an attorney of some renown - having represented a fair number of famous and infamous clients - and is drawn to the red light of the camera much like a moth to a flame.  According to Tacopina, not only is A-Rod being persecuted by MLB but the Yankees have committed a litany of offenses involving A-Rod in a calculated effort to (a) demean him; and (b) create an artifice that would permit them to escape paying him the huge amount due and owing to him under his contract.  
 
Does Tacopina have evidence to support his declarations?  I do not know.  In the Spring of 2007, he spent close to six weeks arguing to a jury in Middlesex County that an attractive, young nurse in a fertility clinic had not drugged, shot, dismembered her husband and then placed his dismembered remains into three suitcases, which turned up in the Chespeake Bay.  Melanie McGuire was thirty-seven years old at the time of her trial.  She shall be one hundred years old when she is finally eligible for parole.  
 
The knife fight between the Yankees and their highest-paid player is not the only thing I find hard to comprehend these days.  One might me hard-pressed to find a person who does not know about the sanctions the NCAA imposed upon Penn State's football program as punishment for all things related to Jerry Sandusky.   In short, the NCAA dropped the hammer on players and coaches presently part of the program for sins committed more than ten years ago - and perpetrated principally by a piece of human detritus - Sandusky - who had not been officially part of the program for more than a decade.  Sons paying for the sins of the father if you will. 
 
In light of what befell Penn State, how anxious are the people at Vanderbilt University these days?  For decades Vandy, which is one of this nation's great universities, has been the whipping boy of SEC Football.  The past few seasons however the winds of change have blown in Nashville, Tennessee.  The Commodores have had gridiron success that would make Lionel Richie proud.  In 2012 they went 9-4, including a victory in the Music City Bowl over North Carolina State.  This year's team popped up in the first AP Top 25 Poll unranked but listed among "others receiving votes".
 
 
Vanderbilt's response to the alleged sexual assault (and I throw the word "alleged" in there not because I know anything about the evidence in the case but simply because I cotton to the idea that innocent until proven guilty is a good thing) was swift.  Batey, Banks, McKenzie and Vandenburg - who were arrested shortly after the incident - were all dismissed from school and barred from campus pending the outcome of the case (I do not know if Boyd has now been similarly treated in the aftermath of his indictment).   But will the school's response make any difference to the powers that be at the NCAA?  Penn State was severely punished for past crimes.  In light of that, where does the NCAA go with Vandy and the crimes committed (allegedly) by its current student-athletes? 
 
Final 'thought' for the day because while it is early my head already hurts.  If you purchase a beautiful home that sits prominently on a corner lot in a nice, heavy traffic neighborhood, then get off of your ass and cut the f*cking grass.  The douche shizzle who bought our home appears to have not yet unpacked his lawn mower one month after the closing.  The property looks like shit.  I may not own it any longer but it shall always belong to me - even if only in my heart.  Cut the f*king grass. 
 
You may welcome disorder in your house.  I do not.  Not even in one I no longer own....
 
 
....although it sure sounds good.
 
-AK



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