Monday, May 13, 2013

Fire and Rain....

Slightly more than one month ago - and only two days before her 22nd birthday - Paige Aiello disappeared.   She simply walked away from her home, from her family and from her life.  As all of us do from time to time - and as younger folks tend to do more often than us of a more grizzled variety due largely to all of the pressure (both real and perceived) they face - Paige had been going through a pretty rough patch.  Try as they might - and they tried damn hard - neither her parents nor her older sister Erin could pull her out of it.  And try as she might have, Paige could not pull herself out of it either.  

At the time of her disappearance from her parent's home on April 9, her family feared the worst.  Yet they never stopped hoping for the best.  Sadly, last Wednesday their worst hopes were realized.  Only a few short days before Mother's Day,  Paige's body was recovered from the Hudson River - roughly one mile south of the George Washington Bridge.  It was on the Bridge's upper level that Paige's purse had been discovered the night on which she disappeared.  

A parent's worst fear is to outlive a child.  It is a fear only compounded by the fear that your child may - in spite of everything that you know she knows about herself and how much she is loved - at some point feel so overwhelmed by life that all she knows and all she has been taught eludes her grasp.  Including perhaps how to share those feelings with you as her parent.   And as a parent, your brain teaches you that no matter what you do or how hard you try you shall not be able to shield your child from all of the world's bad stuff.  Intuitively you know you cannot.  Yet you try your damnedest to do just that.  Your heart earns its paycheck by telling your brain to go "F***" itself.  It inspires you to try irrespective of the knowledge that you shall fail more often than not.  And every failure pierces you more than the one before it did.  

When interviewed Thursday evening - only hours after the police had notified her and her parents that Paige's body had been recovered - her older sister Erin (with whom Paige was going to live while she attended Rutgers-Newark Law School beginning in September) said, "Everything was just beginning."....  

....until it ended all too soon.   And dissolved into a scene of abject sadness.


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