Wednesday, March 20, 2013

All Hail the Reverse Hyphenate

For those among us who might persist in doubting the mental acuity of my favorite acid-tongued practitioner of the comedic arts, doubt no longer.  A number of years ago Denis Leary did a bit lamenting the utter douchebaggery of those in our society who perpetrate the "murder-suicide" and imploring those of that ilk to do all of us a favor and reverse their order to "suicide-murder".  The classic case of "addition by subtraction" as it were.   

In the past decade-plus we have been exposed to those who ignored Mr. Leary's plea.  Those who viciously and senselessly murdered others - in some cases dozens of others - before turning their attention (and more importantly their weaponry) on themselves.  This week, however, the lives of countless students at the University of Central Florida in Orlando were spared when the killer amongst them - 30 year old undergraduate James Oliver Seevakumaran - whose mass-execution plot was foiled when (a) a roommate who he pulled one of his guns on and threatened to shoot was able to find safety in a bathroom from which he called 9-1-1; and (b) the campus police department's arrival at his dormitory within three minutes of Seevakumaran's pulling of a fire alarm in the building, which deprived old Jimbo the time he thought he would have to gun down his fellow residents as they exited their rooms in response to the fire alarm - opted to kill himself.  Apparently there is nothing quite so frustrating as watching your best-laid plans of mass murder go to hell in a handcart.  

This time around at least the good guys won.  And the evil d-bag?  He reaped precisely what he had sown.  Truth be told - and if this falls under the heading of "kicking a poor to middling psychopath when he is down" then so be it - a 30 year-old undergraduate majoring in business and living IN A DORM had likely already experienced the zenith of his business career with his gig at the on-campus sushi joint.   The fact that he carried malice in his heart seems fairly self-evident.  The fact that he directed it inward with mortal force in response to be denied the chance to direct it outward with impunity seems equally so.  And while the latter might be a reason for someone to shed a tear for this miserable prick, I assure you that  individual bears no resemblance whatsoever to Yours truly.

Keep teaching Professor Leary.  You never know how many are listening but as long as at least one is, it is a message worth repeating. 


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