Wednesday, September 19, 2012

First Exit Past Sublime....

I think that once upon a lifetime ago - back when forty-five-year-old Adam was seventeen-year-old Adam - the stunt pulled just the other day by a member of the junior class at (I am not making this up) Patriot High School in Prince William County, Virginia.  He used a helicopter to drop an invitation to the school's Fall Fest on the football field where the young girl he wanted to ask to the dance was practicing.  She is the kicker for the football squad in addition to being a member of the girls' varsity soccer team.

I kid you not:  a helicopter.  And not just any old chopper.  Nope.  His dad is apparently a "senior official"  with U.S Customs and Border Protection.  A CBP helicopter was used to drop from the sky the stuffed bulldog that was holding the invitation for 17 year-old Victoria Burress.  Like a Mountie our young Patriot got his gal.  “He knew it was my senior year, and I’ve been asked some pretty creative ways before this,” said Burress.  “Everyone thinks that we like each other, but it’s not like that at all. It’s just unusual to be that close with a guy and to have him still do something nice for you.”  For the life of me I cannot decipher what the hell she was trying to say right there.  Enormous future for young Ms. Burress in the Romney White House as a speech writer....or as Chief of Staff.

Contrary to what young Victoria might think, this stunt proves to me yet again that young men will go to extraordinary lengths to get laid.  Young Mr. Whirly-Bird did not appropriate a helicopter and pull the stunt of a lifetime in the hope of getting a cuddle and a peck on the cheek.  His thought process I get.  It is the thinking - or lack thereof - of the adults involved here - starting with chopper boy's Mom and Dad and most assuredly including the Principal of Patriot High that boggles my mind.  Kid could not have pulled it off without official assistance and - more importantly - permission.  To me, completely and utterly ridiculous.

Dirigible companies are taking orders now from eleventh and twelfth grade boys at Patriot High School for prom season already.  Operators are standing by.

-AK

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