Sunday, June 10, 2012

This Zone is for Unloading

It was an extraordinarily long week at work this week - not in terms of anything diabolical or untoward occurring - but just with regard to the number of things that had to be completed. My brain, which is not exactly built for endurance on its best days - is a bit whipped. Thus, expect today's inanity to perhaps rise to heights that it normally does not. Or just stop reading right now and find something more rewarding to do with your time. It is not as if I will know one way or the other and in the interests of full disclosure I will not be affected by your choice. Promise.

I love hockey. Born and raised a Rangers fan. Enjoyed the hell out of their effort this season. Yet I am at a loss to understand why exactly the NHL season begins around Columbus Day and ends between Memorial Day and Father's Day. This time of year the life expectancy of an ice cube on a sidewalk in either Newark, New Jersey or Los Angeles, California is less than a minute. There has to be a mechanism for having the season take less than nine months to complete and for having the off-season to last longer than an eye blink. The Major League season seems to last forever and it actually takes less time to complete than the NHL season does. In fairness to the powers that be in the NHL there may very well be seasons that last longer than theirs does but as someone who cannot even be forced to pantomime giving a rat's ass about the NBA, the WNBA or the MLS, I care not at all when any of their seasons begin or end.

Today wraps the first edition of this year's Subway Series. I despise inter-league baseball. And I am already chapped about the fact that when the Houston Astros are moved from the NL to the AL next year, there will be one inter-league game played every day since the 30 big league teams will now be evenly divided into two 15-team leagues. Screw the Subway Series. Bring back the Mayor's Trophy Game. Feel free to continue to air the Dunkin' Donuts commercial with Terry Collins and Joe Girardi. It is utterly harmless. And at least during the two sets that the Bombers and the Metropolitans play with one another, there is a natural rivalry being played out on the field. It beats the hell out of having to sit through three games between those long-standing enemies the Los Angeles Dodgers and.....the Seattle Mariners.

And do not even get me started on Lauryn Hill and her "explanation" for her decision to not pay any income taxes for a three-year period in which her income was reportedly $1.8 Million. I never knew what the inspiration was for the title of her quite-excellent solo record, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, in the late '90's. Now it seems much, much clearer to me. When compared to Ms. Hill, Zoey Ripple suddenly looks to be a candidate for a Fulbright scholarship.

See you tomorrow. Or not.


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