Thursday, May 17, 2012

While Somewhere Mr. Hiatt Smiles

Riddle me this: What can one do to secure status simultaneously as the Man of the Year for the ASPCA and Public Enemy #1 for Child Protective Services....without even consciously aspiring to either title? Give up? I thought you might.

Since you are stuck for an answer to a brainteaser that would have made Frank Gorshin guffaw, perhaps you should matriculate to the Craig Dershowitz College of Canine Knowledge. Mr. Dershowitz is a New York resident and what one could fairly consider to be an unabashed animal lover. Whether he has great affection for all creatures great and small I know not. However I do not question his love of his own pooch.

During the time that they lived in New York together Mr. Dershowitz and his girlfriend Sarah Brega owned a dog. Apparently the course of true love ran afoul for the human companions. When that occurred they ended up not continuing to share the same abode. Since there are two of them and but one dog there simply was not enough Knuckles to go around.

As often happens - much to the delight of the bank that hold the mortgage on my home - the disagreement that Brega and Dershowitz had over in whose hands Knuckles should be entrusted descended into litigation. Ms. Brega ended up all the way across the United States - in Southern California - in possession of Knuckles. Mr. Dershowitz claimed that Ms. Brega stole Knuckles. He filed suit against her in Los Angeles County for custody of the dog. Crazy or passionate? Not for me to decide although considering he claims to have spent more than $60,000 in his effort to rescue a dog he characterizes as having been "kidnapped" there very well may be no wrong answer.

Mr. Dershowitz has gone so far as to create a video that he has posted on-line. In it he uttered the line that might very well bring down upon him the wrath of those who do not consider one's four-legged companions to be somehow comparable to one's human offspring. "All I want is to bring Knuckles back home to me. In a lot of ways, he's like my son. He's absolutely the cutest dog in the universe. He has big floppy ears. He snores like an old man. His whole butt wiggles when he wags his tail. … He's incredible."

Having never met Knuckles I cannot attest to the level of his incredibleness. However, having checked out the website ( I can speak to his cuteness. He is quite a looker.

And for the time being at least Knuckles will continue to live life in Los Angeles. On Wednesday afternoon, a judge ruled that Knuckles will stay put in California - at least for now. Although Mr. Dershowitz lost this round, methinks that this fight likely has several more rounds to go. He could not have expected favorable treatment - a New Yorker in a Los Angeles courtroom. Hell, I recall one time on Law & Order Jack McKoy had to travel all the way to Los Angeles to try to persuade a Los Angeles County Superior Court judge to honor an extradition order signed by the Governor of New York and to release a suspected murderer into the custody of Briscoe and Curtis for transport back to New York to stand trial. He failed. Yet by episode's end he had turned the tide, secured a second appearance before the judge and justice ultimately prevailed. McKoy had the benefit of Jamie Ross AND a favorable script and he still lost the first go-round. Stay the course Mr. Dershowitz. Stay the course. Heidi Ellison deserved Jack McKoy's perserverance. Knuckles certainly deserves yours. After all, he does have big floppy ears.

I love Rosalita quite a lot. That being said, when the Missus finally wises up and kicks me to the curb in the unlikely event she should decide she wants to keep Rosie I might be inclined to let her. I certainly would have to think long and hard about dropping $60K on a quest to reclaim her.

Then again she does look quite fetching in her Ray-Bans....

I never felt so free
It was just my dog and me....


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