Saturday, January 14, 2012

JC v. GQ

Jesus is coming
He's got a new bag of tricks
No more walking on water
No more healing the sick
But he can sure pick the horses
And he makes a mean sauce
And let's not forget
How he came down off that cross


While I do not pretend to know the whys or wherefores as to John Eddie's motivation for writing "Jesus is Coming", which was a standout track on his excellent "Who the Hell is John Eddie?" disc several years back I am confident that it was NOT Tim Tebow. I say that not because I am a Tebow basher or because I pretend to know Eddie's feelings about him - presuming he has any. I say that because Eddie released the CD and the track in 2003....also known as the year that a future Heisman Trophy winner, Two-Time National Champion and NFL first-round draft pick was sixteen. He would not even begin to receive notoriety - or take his first steps towards saving mankind - for another year or two.

T Squared leads his disciples (teammates - sorry!) into battle tonight against the QB who everyone (not from New England) formerly loved to hate more than any other. And in fairness to everyone - what's not to hate? Is it not enough that Tom Brady has won 3 Super Bowls - including his first one against a Rams team that supposedly could not lose (cue ironic music and clip of Tyree catch while asking, "Sound familiar?")? Not for him apparently. He has to poke us mere mortals in the eye off-field as well. He romanced and fathered a child with a beautiful actress only to dump her (prior to baby's arrival) for a supermodel.

So tonight on one field America will have the NFL QB who many fans root against just because his life is so much better than ours that our envy consumes us lined up against the NFL QB who many people root against just because he seems to be too good to be true. And I would almost be willing to wager that there are more folks pulling for Mr. GQ than there are for the Holy Roller simply because of what we presume each represents.

Me? My position on the existence of the Almighty and the inane silliness that is organized religion makes me the anti-Tebow. Yet I root for the kid. I have since he started his college career at Florida. I may not be one who has much use for faith or the power of prayer but hating on a kid simply because he does? Every time it seems to me that we have drilled to the nadir of humanity, we pull a Harry Stamper and achieve a heretofore unattainable depth. Have two minutes to spare? Read this - written by a CU-Boulder alum who actually can use language effectively - and then gauge your enthusiasm for bashing the kid. If it has not waned, then I fear the problem my friend is not Tebow but you.

What shall happen tonight in Foxboro? I have no idea. I am not a man who bets on football but I did happen to glance Friday at the line in the Star-Ledger. Brady's Bunch was posted as a 13.5 point favorite, suggesting that Tebow might need to pull off a miracle along the lines of fishes, loaves and the multiplier effect to earn a win - and he is not getting any help from this bunch. Nor from this corner either - although it is likely to cause him to smile.

The last time there was a line this big in an athletic competition with religious overtones was when the Christians went to Rome to take on the Lions. For those of us who might have forgotten how that turned out, be reminded that it was the Chiefs - and not the Christians - who represented the AFL in SB I.

Jesus is coming
Yeah, that's the company line
But Jesus ain't coming
He's been here all the time....

....Jesus, if you're coming
I hope you're coming tonight
'Cause I'm all alone in the darkness
And I could sure use the Light


-AK

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