Friday, January 6, 2012

Falling Off The Tabletop

I try very hard to stay away from political commentary and such here. There are enough places on-line and elsewhere to read/hear/watch what someone possessing a thimbleful of knowledge on the subject hopes to foist upon you - the reader/listener/viewer under the guise of informed opinion. Rush Limbaugh has built a successful careeer on adherence to that very idea...well that and boatloads of prescription medications. But Tuesday's caucus in Iowa begs three questions - in no particular order of importance.

First, upon finishing ANBB ("Ahead of Nobody But Bachmann" - further proof that Huntsman's candidacy exists only in his mind) on Tuesday night, Texas Governor Rick Perry declared that he was going to head home to Texas for a few days to weigh whether to continue his pursuit of the Republican nomination. Have the good people of Texas missed him at all while he has been out/about showering the good people of the rest of these United States with his own special brand of incompetence? Suz has lived in Houston for six weeks or so - during which time the Gov has been otherwise engaged - and by all accounts she has been very pleased with her new home. Perry's alma mater even managed to win a bowl game while the Gov was off inflicting himself on the rest of the country. If A&M can win without the help of its former Yell Leader, then what Texan actually needs him to come home?

Hell, her new hometown team is even in the NFL playoffs for the first time in its history. The good news is that the Texans will play the Bengals on Saturday afternoon in the first playoff game to be played in Houston since December 29, 1991. The bad news is that given how ravaged the Texans are by injury at the QB position, owner Bob McNair might be better served luring the winning quarterback from that 1991 game (the last playoff game won by a NFL team from Houston) out of retirement to guide his team as opposed to relying upon one of the guys on his active roster.

Second, if the people of Iowa could have promised the rest of the country well in advance of Tuesday's little set-to that they would end the Presidential campaign of Minnesota's most recent and most offensive export - and considering this state has subjected the rest of us to Norm Coleman, Jesse Ventura and Al Franken that is no small accomplishment - would we have permitted them to caucus earlier than the first Tuesday in January? Labor Day perhaps.

I for one will now have time to contemplate which thought frightens me more (whether it is that Michele Bachmann is a member of Congress or that the majority of folks who bother to vote in her district in Minnesota actually opt to send her there as their representative) without really caring about what the answer is. She is now what she was before the career dissipation light illuminating her quarter-hour of fame went dark, which is their problem with which to deal.

Third, is there any reasonable basis for thinking that James McMurtry was not in fact referring to Iowa when he penned these words:

And I watch those jet trails carving up that big blue sky
Coast to coasters watch 'em go
And I never would blame 'em one damn bit
If they never looked down on this
Not much here they'd wanna know
Just Levelland
Far as you can point your hand
Nothin' but Levelland


30,007 Iowa Republicans cast a vote for Rick Santorum on Tuesday night. Proof - if of nothing else - that the best light in which to see Iowa is through the window of a jumbo jet from 35,000 feet above it while flying from somewhere else to somewhere else altogether.

Who else cannot wait to see what fun awaits all of us in New Hampshire?

-AK

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