Friday, December 30, 2011

The Geldofian Principle of Inevitability

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate...

Except on Samoa. Except this week. You might have missed the news item from earlier this week but in 2011 on Samoa December 30th shall be known as "Never Day". As in, it never happened. Yesterday was the 29th of December and today (on Samoa at well as in the New Zealand territory of Tokelau) is New Year's Eve. How time flies when you are moving from THIS side of the International Date Line to THAT side of it.

Here's the skinny (as reported on

Just this once, Samoa is making Dec. 30 disappear.

It's the key step in the Pacific island nation's plan to move from the eastern to the western side of the International Date Line and mesh its work week with two of its primary trading partners, New Zealand and Australia. The New Zealand territory of Tokelau is making the switch as well.

"In doing business with New Zealand and Australia, we're losing out on two working days a week," quoted Samoan Prime Minister Tuila'epa Sailele as saying. "While it's Friday here, it's Saturday in New Zealand, and when we're at church Sunday, they're already conducting business in Sydney and Brisbane."

Samoa will go directly from 11:59 p.m. Thursday, through midnight to 12:01 a.m. Saturday.

I suppose that if you are not one who has ever worshipped at the Church of the Old Demon Alcohol then this example will not serve you well. For those of you (OK - "us") who have, consider for a moment that you miss the memo regarding the day drop, tie one on but good on Thursday night and come to only to learn that it is Saturday morning. One of two things would happen. You would swear off alcohol for the 1,000,000th and final time would go back to the pub where you got schnockered on Thursday night and request that each and every time you were there they served you exactly what they served you that made a whole day disappear. Come to think of it, I think I have actually consumed just such a concoction on at least a couple dozen occasions. If memory serves anyway.

Given the historical animus towards Monday, I had long suspected that if there was a day that would be the intended target of a calendar bypass, it would be Monday. No one likes Monday; right? Alas, it is poor Friday that has bitten turf.

The good news is that Friday's banishment is a one-time only affair. It shall return to its appointed place on the Samoan calendar next week. The bad news? While the powers-that-be have figured out how to make the day disappear, their efforts to eradicate other evidence of its existence have been entirely unsuccessful.


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