Thursday, May 26, 2011

By the Light of an Invisible Sun

Did you see the item yesterday (I do not what media site had it first as I read it off of a link to it that my brother Bill provided) from Captain Crazy - the right Reverend Harold Camping?  Asked - in the aftermath of the Rapture that was not on May 21 - what had happened, Rev. Ha-C explained that May 21 was an "invisible judgment day".   The actual day of reckoning is coming on October 21st after all.  May 21 was a spiritual - and not a physical - event. 

Ah, the old "invisible judgment day".  A concept just Huckleberry enough to make a jaded old cynic such as a certain person I see when I look in the mirror every morning hearken back to my days of youth.  My friend Doug Carroll and I used to play marathon Wiffle Ball games on summer afternoons.  We lived about five miles beyond the edge of nowhere - an area so sparsely populated that it was not even wired for cable television.  A good time as a kid was sleeping over at the house of one of my friends who lived in civilization where channels such as MTV and HBO existed.  That world was never to be confused with Wertsville Road in Neshanic Station.

Anyway, I owe a great big thank you to Hollerin' Harold and his "invisible judgment day".  Back in the day, the only two people who Doug and I had to play Wiffle Ball with (and against) were each other.  To complete our rosters, we drafted an army of invisible men.  Each was a specialist of whom the late, great Charles O. Finley would have been proud:  he was exclusively used to run the bases.  We always suspected that somewhere, someplace Herb Washington - who in is 105 game major league career that spanned the 1974 season and a brief snippet of the 1975 season - never once had an official at-bat - was smiling. 

I never suspected that our concept of invisibility, which was critical to game play, would be taken wider and higher by Reverend Camping.  I hope it is a trend that continues to spread.  Who would not enjoy breaking up the monotony of paying one's mortgage for real every month with an "invisible mortgage payment day" every 3rd month or so?  Think of the confusion it might create for law enforcement though if thieves and shoplifters could advance an affirmative defense of "invisible payment" to the charges against them. 

The anticipation of my first chance to put this newly accepted universal concept into action is almost too much to bear.  I intend to rely upon it tonight when I participate in The Legal Runaround 5K in Somerville.  Regardless of my finishing time, I know I shall run my best time ever.  Care to try to prove me wrong?  Sucker's bet - of course. Blink and you'll miss me.....

.....told you!  I am already gone.

-AK

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