Friday, December 3, 2010

Cheshire Smiles and Other Artifices

Having never watched an episode of Dancing With The Stars, I must admit that the whole Bristol Palin imbroglio was above and beyond my ability to comprehend. Speaking of things that are beyond my ability to comprehend is by whose authority was this young woman classified as a "star". Hell - poor Pluto cannot even keep current its membership dues in the planet fraternity and down here on Earth we are doling out "Star-ships" at a dime a dozen. Can somebody please explain to me what is going on around here. Gracie? Alice? Big Bunny? Anyone.....

Never have seen anything other than brief snippets of young Bristol in action and being cursed myself with such an utter and complete absence of rhythm that when - as a child - I suffered from epilepsy, unless you kept an ear open for the sound of musical accompaniment you never knew where my dancing ended and my seizure activity began, I am not the person to critique or otherwise comment upon her "creds" to participate on a dancing show. Again, my query was as to her "Star" bona fides. Are there so few teenage boys residing in Alaska that when an unwed teenage girl becomes the mother of one's child it is a star-making event? Even through the lens of my jaundiced eye on the world around me that seems unlikely. Regardless of whether this young woman belonged on the show or not or whether her participation in it right through the finals was something you rooted for or not, it appears from my vantage point that some folks did what we tend to do in this country from time to time. Some folks overreacted to the news just a bit.

While it shall remain forever a mystery to me I fear as to why more Americans did not view the younger Palin's campaign to be voted champion of her TV show as I think we all should have ("If their deal with Satan entitles the Palin Family to have one of its female members win a national election, then better Bristol in '10 than Mama Grizzly in '12; right?") America's reaction to Bristol Palin was downright heartwarming in comparison to the response that at least some Clevelanders had to the maiden voyage back to Ohio that LeBron James made last evening since leaving the Cavaliers to sign with the Miami Heat after the end of the 2009-10 NBA season - which probably seems as if it only was a week or so ago but apparently actually ended some time over the summer.

Add to the list of things beyond my ability to comprehend the widespread inability to grasp why young Mr. James preferred to spend the next several years of his life in Miami, Florida as opposed to Cleveland, Ohio. He is in his mid-20's, a bachelor and a multi-millionaire. Why the hell would he not prefer spending his off days in January and February on the sands of South Beach to the snow-covered shores of Lake Erie? Did someone suspect that all these years his headband was a size or two too tight or some such thing?

In this country we express outrage over the damnedest things - dancing queens and basketball players - and decided indifference over important things, which might explain why more people typically vote for America's next Idol than for our next President. Maybe we do it because it is easier to express mock outrage than the genuine article. It allows us to trick up our blood pressure and quicken our heart rate without having to invest too much in it.

Kind of, sort of what happens when you dance - or play a game of H-O-R-S-E.

-AK

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