Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Time Pilot

Show of hands please. Who has been having more fun than they can stand thus far in September? All you school-age kids who are raising just one finger on your hands are not going to have your votes recorded if you do not follow the rules. I just realized that the finger of the moment is your middle one.....never mind, I suppose I now know where you stand on this issue.

How about the rest of us? Those of us who are non-seasonal humans (a/k/a "adults") for whom summer was not a vacation period but simply a pretty g*ddamn time to put on our big boy pants every day and go to work. How is your September fun level thus far? Does it exist? Is it pinned to the max? Who knows. Better yet.....who cares.

Time most certainly does not. If you do not believe me, I suppose that is your right. You do after all have the right to be wrong - and to be silent, neither of which you have to fight for, which seems odd considering that you apparently do have to fight for the right to party. Go figure.

On the issue however of the fleet-footedness of time there really can be no debate. Today is already the halfway point of September. Was it not just summer a minute and a half ago? Hell, was it not at least August? Suddenly, we are not only in September but we are halfway through it. Before you know it we will have speed-dialed our way through the remaining half and be staring October squarely in the face.

I have no idea how to stop time and I gave of hope of even being able to contain it years ago (although I have a sneaking suspicion that fitting it with a SlimT would do no good whatsoever). Yet it seems to me that the older I get, the faster its pace. Maybe it is simply mine slowing down a bit. I know not. What I do know is that almost effortlessly the days spill over from one into the next and before I realize it, another week or another month or another year has been completed.

From the time we are children we are implored to 'make every second count'. How are we to do that exactly? No one provides us with either instruction or explanation (not unlike those sneaky bastards who peddle that Rosetta Stone "learn a foreign language" software under the guise of "learn a new language the same way you learned your first one". Huh?). That omission is by deliberate design - intended to make us reluctant to ask for either as if both are self-evident. We learn as we get older that there is not only no secret plan for making every second count, there is no blueprint for it at all. To the contrary, we muddle through as best as we can, loving those we love and hoping that they love us back, doing whatever it is we do to provide shelter, warmth and nourishment for us and for our families and trying to enjoy the one-way trip we are all on.

And from time to time, we are so immersed in what we are doing that we lose track of time altogether. We awaken from our reverie to discover that it is already the 15th day of September and we realize the significance of what that means.......

.....there are only one hundred shopping days 'til Christmas. Ho Ho Freakin' Ho.


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