Saturday, March 13, 2010

The McFlying of Time

Leapin' Lizards! Among the many things I do not know is the origin of that overtly cornball phrase - although for some reason the comic strip Annie (the one with the eternally optimistic red-headed orphan girl) is in the forefront of my mind. Luckily for it, there is not much else up there jockeying for position.

Whether lizards actually leap I know not. I suppose technically speaking we the people of the United States (at least those of us who live on the important coast) are not leaping - but rather springing - ahead in the wee small hours of tonight/tomorrow morning. I do know that tomorrow night it will be daylight until close to 7:00 p.m. and from tomorrow night forward to the Solstice of Summer the evenings will lay back-to-back one incrementally longer than its immediate predecessor. I love "Spring Ahead" weekend. I sleep but 4 to 5 hours nightly. I am generally unaffected by the phenomenon. I love my wife and kids very much - and with apologies to all of them (especially Margaret and Rob who has been more pockmarked by his mother's lunacy on this issue than has Suzanne) their annually occurring systemic shock and embrace of somnambulism always strikes me as being just a tad or two too much.

We have much good-natured fun in our household at each other's expense over the twice-a-year time shifts. Like clockwork (sorry, I could not resist) in the fall and again in the spring Margaret and Rob turn into a time-twisting tag team not seen since the heyday of Marty, Doc Brown and their souped-up DeLorean. Every yawn that either emits for a week after falling backward or springing forward is accompanied by a pseudo-rhetorical question, "You know why I am yawning so much right?" and the inevitable answer, "Because this time yesterday it was an hour [earlier] [later] than it is right now and my whole system is thrown off."

And as certain as either of them will claim to be a victim of a hiccup in the time-space continuum will be my response. Twice annually I pooh-pooh their position and chuckle at their hypothesis that a change of one hour every six months has the potential to throw one's internal body clock out of rhythm for an indeterminate period of time. And twice annually they laugh with similar vigor at my equally silly position, which is that since at this time this year you are exactly where you were at this time last year - in terms of having taking one step back and now one step up - you should be unchanged by the experience. You are not changing at all. You are simply maintaining the status quo.

Who is right? I know not, although given my track record historically for "being right" my money is on Margaret and Rob. All I know is that tomorrow I can be sure of two things: (presuming it ever stops raining and we can see it to determine it still exists) the sun will set roughly one hour later than it shall today and Margaret and Rob will start documenting the effects of sleep deprivation upon them. And since both of these developments never fail to put a smile on my face I herald the arrival of both with equal enthusiasm.

Talk about effective time management; right?

-AK

2 comments:

Robert said...

How can you not concede to the fact that for at least one day your body "feels" one hour earlier/later than is was the day before. Time is an arbitrary number that man gave to measure the intervals between events. If one day, man told you it was 5pm for instance aka "quitting time." Suddenly, your boss wound the clock back to 4pm and you were required to stay and do an extra hour of work. Would you not feel like you stayed late at work for at least that day. Furthermore, if on that same day you would normally eat dinner at 7pm (but now the clock says 6pm) would you not be equally as hungry and ready to eat at 6?

Adam Kenny said...

I suspect your mother put you up to this! :)