Friday, November 27, 2009

Days Like These

The Dream Team came through with flying colors yesterday. And they did so under the most trying of circumstances.

I think this marked the 18th Thanksgiving that Margaret and I have spent together. We marked (I celebrated - she dressed in black and went to church to light votive candles) our 16th anniversary in June and we were together for two years before we married. This however was the first one since her mom died in June. During the course of the past five and one-half months Margaret has had a lot of really good days. Sadly but understandably she has had a number of really lousy days. Thanksgiving was a combination platter.

Joe and Margaret busied themselves in the days leading up to Thanksgiving doing what in years past Sue had handled - principally by herself the past several years and before that with the assistance of Nan - preparing every component part of Thanksgiving dinner. It is indeed true that necessity is the mother of invention. But it is also true that work is often therapeutic. The three of us could have traveled en masse to one of several homes yesterday to eat. We did not. We did not because Joe decided he wanted to spend Thanksgiving '09 at home. Even if home has not quite felt like home since his darling Suzy died.

The dynamic duo made quite a meal yesterday. All three of us ate far more food than we should have and - I think perhaps in spite of ourselves - we laughed more than once. This is going to be an emotionally charged next thirty days or so for Margaret and for Joe and for the rest of the family. To be in the company of those they love but to be without one who they loved so much.

Not every day is equal when attempting to deal with loss. There are certain days when a loved one's absence is felt more greatly than others. And we are just starting to work our way through a time of year that unintentionally is chock full of those 'greater than' days. While I anticipate that there may be a few rough days to come in the weeks ahead, yesterday Joe and Margaret soldiered on beautifully. Suzy must have been proud. She prepared them well.

-AK

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