Monday, September 28, 2009

Dressing for Success

Yesterday morning I participated in what is a weekly rite of passage in suburbia: the trek to Costco. In our household we apparently consume a lot of food and spill a lot of stuff because among the items I needed to purchase was the logging camp-sized quantities of paper towel and toilet paper.

I was a bit behind schedule yesterday morning so I did not get to our local Costco in time to catch its opening at 10:00 a.m. In fact I did not get there until shortly before 11:00 a.m. The hour's difference, coupled with the fact that the weather was a tad inclement in these parts yesterday morning, assured that by the time I arrived at Costco the joint was ass-deep in shoppers. There is nothing I enjoy more than being trapped in Costco when I know what four items I am there to retrieve, trying to negotiate my way through a store full of people who appear transfixed by the arithmetic involved in determining whether a 17 gallon container of Bush's baked beans is a bargain or a rip-off at $11.99.

I could not help but notice how many of my fellow shoppers were adorned in a jersey of a professional football team as they prowled the aisles. As someone who is not a "jersey" guy (I do own a University of Colorado football jersey that I have owned for close to a decade and have worn a half-dozen times - five of which were to play football) the jersey as the wardrobe of choice for an adult has always fascinated me more than a little. Candidly, I have never quite understood the phenomenon. I kinda, sorta get the man or woman who goes to the game wearing a t-shirt, a hat, sweatshirt or jersey of their favorite team - at least then you are in the building sharing the moment. But Costco yesterday was densely populated by people wearing Giants jerseys - ninety minutes prior to kickoff of the Giants game against the Buccaneers. A game that was being played in Tampa Bay.

Therein lies the rub for me with folks who wear replica paraphernalia simply to sit in their living room, a friend's living room or a sports bar of some sort and stare at "their team" as it plays a game that they are watching on TV. It makes me curious as to how these gamers gear up to watch other programs on TV. Do they suit up to watch the evening news? Call wardrobe and grab some pancake makeup in order to watch their favorite movie? Stuff themselves into a Speedo to watch Michael Phelps and Rebecca Soni do the voodoo that they do so well? Of course not. Why not? Because to do so would be silly.

Yet there there were on Sunday morning, little Mannings and Sanchezes and Roethlisbergers as far as the eye could see. Gender, age and ethnicity be damned. The lure of the "uni" appeals to fans of all ages, sexes and sizes. Whether it should or not is a question best answered by someone who has greater patience for one's fellow bi-peds than yours truly.

Me? I am just quietly dreading the start of the NBA season. Based upon what I have seen thus far - it is not likely to be pretty.

-AK

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