Saturday, June 28, 2008

Waterloo Sunset

Here in the greater Gotham metroplex our two local Major League teams staged their own World War I reenactment yesterday - fought hard and long into the night, made advances deep into enemy territory and then by day's end had given back much of what had been gained. It was the baseball version of "Even Steven".

In the afternoon, the Mets put on one of the nine thousand variations of road uniforms they wear, invaded the Bronx and beat the tar out of the Yankees 15-6. Memo to LaTroy Hawkins: it's OK to not pitch to Carlos Delgado down by seven runs in the 8th inning (especially when he's already hit a grand slam and driven in six). Not our Mr. Hawkins - he grooves a pitch and gopher balls his way into the history books as part of Delgado's entry for most RBI in one game by a Met. As a Yankees fan I could say something snide such as Delgado's achievement is something akin to being designated the smartest member of the Bush Administration....but then someone (most likely my wife) would remind me that I voted for President Bush twice - both times were in '00 and one of those was in Florida so kiss my Irish arse Chad! (I'm kidding of course).

After spending the better part of four hours sweating in the Big Ballpark in the Bronx - and long after the Yankees fans in attendance had given up hope that some cats from the home team would start letting loose (an obscure Springsteen reference dropped here gratuitously for the benefit of my brother Bill and/or my son Rob - in the event either reads this) - the teams traveled to Queens for the second half of the day's double bill. Memo to Michael Kay: the 3 1/2 minute explanation during the second game last night as to why the games were really not considered to be a doubleheader was really, really unnecessary (and while we're at it vis-a-vis the boys from Yes - memo to David Cone: "Sing - e?" Is someone from Pixar paying for the reference or did you come up with that absurd from conception and dead on arrival nickname for Ken Singleton all by yourself?)

The Mets - who hung 15 runs on the Yankees under the light of day in the Bronx, hung exactly 15 fewer runs on them in front of their home fans last night. The Yankees - having looked inept all afternoon in the Bronx - found the soothing sounds of Flushing Bay - it's just the right combination of water, garbage and dead bodies - to be invigorating and hung nine runs on the Mets and Pedro Martinez. God Bless Sidney Ponson, huh? The best ML pitcher ever from the island of Aruba - which begs the question: how could one scout travel all the way to Aruba to find some chubby kid to pitch in the big leagues someday but the entire police force of that island not be able to find 1 strand of hair or trace of the young Natalee Holloway?

At the cessation of hostilities last evening the two teams were essentially back were they had started their respective days. Ray Davies is smiling no doubt. And if the weather holds today and tomorrow, they'll get the chance to go round and round again.

-AK

3 comments:

dweeb said...

"still breathing when I walked away-and I said, 'HEY Kid-you think that's oil? Man, that ai't oil, that's blood!'" I wonder waht LaTroy was gettin' into, or was he just lost in the flood....

Adam Kenny said...

A reader! An actual reader! I figured if you read this and/or if Rob did, the "Lost in the Flood" reference would be discovered.

dweeb said...

After the Literacy Volunteer staged that successful intervention at the house, I've been a regular reader since April.
Great stuff!